You ask questions all day long. Are you conscious of their power? As you become aware of your natural questions, you may find that they're helpful or unhelpful; empowering or disempowering; clear or confusing. Some may lead you to the responses or answers that you truly desire, some may evade the true issues.

Questions guide you in all that you do. Some questions you ask yourself; some you ask others. You walk into a room and think or ask, "What's going on here?" You hear the telephone ring and wonder, "Who's that?" You see a friend and ask, usually quite automatically, "How are you?"

Not every question has a question mark at the end. For example, "I wonder if I'll have trouble falling to sleep tonight." Or, "Let's see if there are any fresh vegetables that look good at the supermarket today." These are examples of rather neutral questions, that is, those that aren't empowering or disempowering. They simply guide you in your observations.

Questions You Ask Naturally

You may want to take a few moments to consider how you ask questions that lead you through a day. What do you ask when you awaken in the morning? ......when you see a friend? .......when you get into your car? .......when you hear the door bell? .......when you pick up your mail? ........when you fall asleep at night?

Internal Messages

Questions and other internal messages guide your observations. Questions transform your future. Some of these messages may be easy to hear because they're audible and part of your conscious awareness. Others may be conscious but still inaudible. Still others may be inaudible and unconscious.

Your questions and inner messages accumulate at various levels of your consciousness. Some are deeply embedded and insidious. Many are disempowering. Some may have been empowering at a particular stage of your development, but now are disempowering or have no impact. As you ask questions about your questions, you become more aware of their impact and enhance your personal development and growth

Your internal messages have many possible sources. They can originate in childhood, first heard said by an adult. They can be embedded from a perception of an early experience, even a rather non-dramatic experience. Internal messages are beliefs you hold about yourself and the outer world, regardless of the original influence. It's important not to slow yourself down by being overly preoccupied with the formation of your guidance, only to recognize that there are many influences.

Since some internal messages are inaudible or unconscious, they can be tricky to uncover. It's important to bring to the surface the ones that operate your life so that you can decide what to do with them. If the internal messages are empowering, energize them. If they're disempowering, neutralize them and/or replace them.

What is the Question? Is it an Empowering Question?

Individuals in pain or confusion often ask, "What have I done wrong?" Many years ago, I stepped into a trap by answering this disempowering question when a client asked me. Now I know that all that's wrong is the question!

The question "What have I done wrong?" returns disempowering responses. Even answering "Nothing" is unsatisfactory. If you're tempted to ask questions like this, stop and ask another. If someone asks you this question, you can help the person more by suggesting he or she ask an empowering question rather than answering this disempowering one.

Alternative questions lead to more useful insights. The question "What is the question?" is often the perfect question! Alternatives are, "What is the most empowering question I can ask right now?" Or, "What question can I ask to move us (me, you) to or toward where we (I, you) desire to be?"

Ask Questions that are Empowering in or for a Mess

Here are empowering questions you can ask when you find yourself in a mess. Or vary the questions to assist others in asking for more meaningful information:


And then:


Such questions as these are far more uplifting and encouraging than "Who did what?" Or, "How did I get into this mess?" Or, "Why did this happen?" Of course, there may be times you must ask questions and answer questions such as these, but they tend to blame rather than empower. It's helpful to distinguish between empowering and disempowering questions. Either can assist your personal development, but — trust me — the empowering ones are more fun.

Everyday Empowering Questions to Ask

Here are some of my favorite empowering questions that exemplify the power of questions. Many of these can aid in transforming disempowering situations. You may want to select the ones that resonate for you and write them on a card for your wallet or mirror or car or top desk drawer.



Copyright © 1991, 2008 Marshall House, http://www.mhmail.com Jeanie Marshall, Empowerment Consultant and Coach with Marshall House writes extensively on subjects related to personal development, growth, and empowerment at http://www.empowering-personal-development.com