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Issue 8,  June 8, 2009     —      Anne Hartley, Creating Harmony Within

In this issue:   FEATURE: Wayne W. Dyer, Excuses Begone! Part two   Ask Caroline Sutherland   Sharon Elaine, Affirmations For Life — Forgiveness   Guy Finley, You Can Change the World   Meryl Ann Butler, Armageddon or Quantum Leap?   Dr Bill Path, Humanity's Pursuit of Purpose   Cindy Ashton, Kiss Your Monsters Goodbye   Anne Hartley, Creating Harmony Within    Wider Screenings, James Bond, Partisan...    Events   Reviews           Earlier issues   Submit Article

What the bleep do we know?
Down the rabbit hole


See Jeanie Marshall article:
Asking Empowering Questions


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Creating Harmony Within
by Anne Hartley

In the rabbit hole scenes of the movie, What the Bleep Do We Know? the creators received a lot of emails from people asking why they kept re-editing the movie.  People thought that scenes had been deleted and others added and some people became quite upset by this.  At that time the creators hadn’t made any changes, it seems that viewers’ minds picked up on different things, and missed others, as they gained new knowledge. 

A paradigm is a set of assumptions, concepts and values that makes up our individual way of viewing reality.  By expanding our reality, with new knowledge and new experiences, we expand or shift our paradigm of who we are and what we are capable of.  Your perception of life influences everything from how intelligent you are, to how successful you can be, to how much people like you.  This perception was created from choices made in childhood and until you replace those choices with conscious choices your paradigm of the world remains the same. 

One day when I was in Year Eight my teacher said in front of the whole class, "Anne, you think you are good at composition don't you?  Well I've got news for you.  You're not!"  I could have crawled under the desk I was so embarrassed, but I also remember thinking, "I'll show you".  If this had happened at age eight or so I might have accepted her limiting statement and not tried being a writer because my perception would have dictated I didn’t have the skill.  However, that statement was made when I was at a rebellious stage, so I made a very conscious choice to prove her wrong.  That teacher did me a huge favour because she inspired me to expand my paradigm of what I was capable of. 

We are hard wired to respond automatically.  On an everyday level we don’t think about how to breathe, or how to walk, we do it automatically.  So you change your perception and expand your paradigm by making conscious choices to replace decisions made in the past which don’t serve the person you are today, or the life you wish to create.

In his book, Having it All, John Assaraf says, “Your nonconscious or subconscious mind makes up the other five-sixths of your brain mass and controls ninety six to ninety-eight percent of your perception and behaviour”.  So if ninety eight percent of your behaviour is nonconscious, it makes sense that if you want your life to change, you want your brain to support you, otherwise it’s working against you.

Whatever you believe becomes your reality.  This means that any limiting belief you hold about yourself, for instance ‘people don’t like me’ or, ‘I’m not good enough’ dictates how you think, talk and act and creates the very conditions you don’t want. 

You create a paradigm shift when you make a conscious choice as to who you want to be.  This is one of the most important decisions you will ever make because the character of the person you choose determines how you perceive life and what happens to you.  Your character determines whether you will bounce back after a setback or slump into a depression as well as how you act on a daily basis.  Your character shapes your destiny.  Choosing who you wish to be gives you back the power over your life. 

When you consciously choose to act on your values you not only feel good about yourself, you reinforce your chosen beliefs and over time your perception of what you can be, do and have changes, and the world in turn changes its perception of you. 

Just imagine a person cuts you off just as you are about to drive into a parking spot, think about how you want to act. If you reacted you might be tempted to make a rude gesture, give the other driver a black look, scream abuse or mutter to yourself⎯you could even go so far as to let another person’s actions spoil your day.  Or, you can make a conscious choice to act like the person you choose to be.  If, for instance you choose to be a kind person you might let the other person have your parking spot.  You might even feel irritated for a short while, but ultimately you will feel good about yourself and the way you behaved therefore turning a potentially negative experience into something positive.  Acting on your values is a form of self mastery.

I recommend that all my clients choose three values which contain the character traits of the ideal person they would like to be, I call these being values.  There is no rule that says that you can’t have two values or four.  Three values are easy to remember and act upon because these are not values you pay lip service to, they only work if you act on them consistently. 

What makes values work is the definition you place on each value.  My values are gracious wise and powerful.  To me a gracious person is diplomatic, treats everyone with respect, is kind but is no pushover.  This value has really helped me to set boundaries in a way that supports me.  Before I chose this value, I wasn’t comfortable setting boundaries and because I hated doing it I wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible, this meant that sometimes I was too abrupt and this offended some people.  I chose to be wise because I have a tendency to be impulsive.  However, the value powerful is the one that challenged me the most because there were many times when I simply didn’t felt powerful, that changed when I redefined what powerful meant.  My definition of powerful is that I only make choices which make me feel good about me and I unconditionally accept what is, myself and other people. 

Definitions help you get started then you need to think about how you are going to act on your values on a regular basis.  One of my clients had a father who loved her but was so critical of her that he bordered on being abusive and until we started working together she had simply taken his abuse.  I suggested that she become a gracious person and whenever he started criticising she put up her hand in a stop sign gesture as she very graciously said, “Let’s not go there”.  I also suggested that if he ignored her request she should leave and tell him she would be happy to talk with him when was prepared to treat her with respect.  She never needed to get to the second step because simply putting up her hand and saying, “Let’s not go there” always defused the situation and her relationship with her father improved dramatically.

Values definitions are personal, so it doesn’t matter what other people think, or what standard interpretations are, these are your values and your choice.  The only standard I place upon values is that they should always enhance your life.  They might challenge you and if they don’t I would question that you have chosen the right ones, ultimately though acting on your values makes you feel good about you.

Life always supports you, although it doesn’t always feel that way, by constantly presenting you with opportunities for you to gain mastery over your fears.  A swimming champion does not become one by deciding to be a swim champ and never getting in the water.  He swims daily and continues to push himself in order to gain mastery.  So in order to gain mastery of yourself, to really be, you need to continually act on your conscious choices. 

How you react to everyday challenges, determines the quality of your life. You have total control over how much you allow into your life and total control over how much you contribute. Who you choose to be is your compass.  Use it to guide all of your choices.  You will never make a wrong decision if you act on your highest values.   ###

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